Aging with Purpose and Passion

Rhonda Nelson: Embracing Resilience and Advocacy Through Health Challenges and Love

Beverley Glazer Episode 111

What happens when life's challenges seem insurmountable? Rhonda Nelson, an author, speaker, patient advocate, and philanthopist, shares her incredible journey of resilience and purpose in the face of profound personal loss and health struggles.

Her story begins with the early loss of her father and the subsequent tragedy that took her stepfather's life, leaving her to navigate grief, her business and support her mother. Despite these hardships, Rhonda's unwavering faith and spiritual upbringing provided the foundation for her strength. Her eventual diagnosis with the rare respiratory disease AERD became a pivotal moment, shaping her mission to champion accessible healthcare and advocate for patients worldwide.

Rhonda's journey is a testament to the power of love, connection, and self-advocacy in healthcare. From a chance encounter at a Little River Band concert, she met the legendary musician Wayne Nelson, leading to a life-altering marriage, and the critical importance of understanding one's health and collaborating with healthcare providers.

Rhonda's story speaks to building relationships based on shared experiences. It's a call to action for everyone to prioritize personal health and seek community support. As we reflect on Rhonda's inspiring narrative, I'm excited to invite you to connect with me, Beverly Glazer, and explore how to live with purpose and passion, especially as we age. Don't miss out on the opportunity for more guidance and inspiration; subscribe, share, and join our community today.

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Aging with Purpose and Passion redefines ageism one bold story at a time. If you've liked this episode, you may also like Boomer Banter - a podcast providing tips on Financial literacy, Mental & Physical health, relationships and aging with purpose.

Resources:

Rhonda Nelson
communications@briellecotterman.com
Website: https://rhondabnelson.com/
https://www.facebook.com/rhondabassnelson/
https://www.instagram.com/rhondabnelson/

Beverley Glazer
Website: https://reinventimpossible.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/beverleyglazer/
https://www.facebook.com/beverley.glazer
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenover50rock
https://www.instagram.com/beverleyglazer_reinvention/

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the podcast designed to inspire your greatness and thrive through life. Get ready to conquer your fears. Here's your host psychotherapist, coach and empowerment expert, Beverly Glazer

Beverley Glazer:

Imagine going through loss, sickness and unexpected hurdles and come out of it with a new purpose and be fulfilled with joy. Wouldn't that be what everybody wants? Well, welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion. I'm Beverley Glazer and, as a coach and mentor, I help women to overcome adversity in life and in business, and you can find me on reinventimpossiblecom. In this episode, you will meet Rhonda Nelson. Rhonda is an author, a speaker, a philanthropist and a patient advocate who champions affordable health care and she supports those diagnosed with a rare respiratory disease called AERD. Rhonda serves on the board of directors with the Asthma and Allergy Network and speaks to raise awareness for AERD. Are you ready to be inspired? Well, welcome Rhonda. Welcome Rhonda.

Rhonda Nelson:

Thank you so much, Beverley. I appreciate the opportunity to share a little time with you today.

Beverley Glazer:

Well, there's so much information that you could give, because you really struggled to even find your diagnosis and many people have to navigate the health care system and often they don't find it. It's a real, real struggle and your life started with a struggle. When you were a very young child, 10 years old, your dad died. Yes, how did that change your life?

Rhonda Nelson:

You know, I was such a daddy's girl that it was almost surreal, because you know, first of all, you're a child, so you don't really understand the impact of what that means of walking through life without your dad. And you know it was also I. It was challenging because I felt different from other kids in my class, because you're without a parent Right, and so that that shaped thoughts and memories for me for sure. As I got older, I realized, though, to be appreciative of the time that I had with him and hang on to the memories and the lessons that I learned from him, While those lessons were rather simplistic because, again, I was only 10 years old when he passed away, but there were still things, and there still are things that I hold near and dear to my heart, that you know. I just remember him saying to me yeah, but your mom remarried.

Beverley Glazer:

She did.

Rhonda Nelson:

It was a wonderful man that came in relationship and while he never tried to take the place of my dad, we had such a great bond that he just slid in and took over, if you will, those things that my dad would have normally done with me. He taught me how to drive a stick shift car. He, you know, he walked me down the aisle when I got married the first time, and you know all of those things that a girl does with her daddy. I was fortunate enough to have another wonderful man in my life, to, to to have those memories with no, you were very, very fortunate to be able to go through that.

Rhonda Nelson:

Yeah, absolutely.

Beverley Glazer:

He influenced you.

Rhonda Nelson:

Yes, a lot yes, and you went into real estate. I did, I picked up in his shoes, if you will, and actually I had moved to Florida and then moved back and had started working with him and we had some great plans for the business. But life threw me a few more lemons and you know, things didn't go quite as planned for sure.

Beverley Glazer:

Now what? What happened then?

Rhonda Nelson:

as planned for sure? What? What happened then? So my, my second dad was killed in a very tragic accident, and it was a car pedestrian accident. I happened to be on the way to the location where he was and I found him. Literally, I turned the corner mere seconds after the accident happened and found him in the street.

Rhonda Nelson:

So it was quite traumatic, um, but again, you pull yourself together and and then, at that time because at that point I'm almost 30 years old, right at 30 years old, and I had my mom to help navigate and to support and to get her through this tragedy, and so that was an interesting time in my life. However, what I realized then, continuing on through my 30s and my 40s and now into my 50s, you know as tragic as that was losing a second, a second parent. I am just so blessed at all the things I learned from him and all the memories that I hold from him. And so, yes, it was tragic, yes, it was hard to lose both of them, but I was so blessed to have not one but two dads in my life.

Beverley Glazer:

Were you going through your illness at this time too? Because, as you say, you were supporting your mom, but you were going through this loss yourself?

Rhonda Nelson:

Yeah, I know I had not been diagnosed, but been diagnosed, nor had my symptoms started, had they? They had not really started. Now what I will say as I think back over the years and I put all and when I started to put all the pieces of the puzzle together, I probably had some of the symptoms beginning, because I had multiple sinus infections at the time. And so, yes, that is a piece of the puzzle, but I didn't realize it then. It wasn't until many years that I realized that that was the case.

Beverley Glazer:

Okay, so how did you handle your personal issues as well as your business? And then you were getting sick and this was a difficult situation and you're looking for recovery and doctors and all those appointments. How did you put it all together, Rhonda, because you have such a positive attitude, and how did you keep that? How did you keep that strength?

Rhonda Nelson:

You know, first and foremost, I was brought up in a very religious family. I won't deny that I don't practice that particular religion the same way that I was brought up, but I still am a very spiritual person and I still have a relationship with my creator. And so the first thing that got me through was that I knew that I was never dealt more than I was able to handle. So that was the first thing more than I was able to handle. So that was the first thing. The second thing that got me through, you know, I, as far as my mother goes, I realized my mom had spent a huge part of her life always caring for, protecting, for, providing for for me, and this was a time that I needed to do that in return for her. And you know that's what we do as children, we do it in situations like that, we do it with aging parents, and so, you know, I honestly felt honored to be able to do that for my mom and to be there for my mom during that period of time.

Rhonda Nelson:

And then, as far as my health goes, I had to learn to give myself permission to put my health as a top priority, because I think a lot of times we get marked down in everything that's going on in our lives and we don't give ourselves permission, ourselves permission. So it was no different really for me to balance those things, as it is for people to balance everyday life, work, health, family commitments, all of that. So it truly was just about finding the balance that worked for me, but also not, also not and this isn't even a word, but I think, not to underestimate how important each of those segments were in my life. So, you know, everything had to live on a pretty much an equal importance of schedule in my life, pretty much an equal importance of schedule in my life.

Beverley Glazer:

Then came husband number two.

Rhonda Nelson:

Yes, yes, yes.

Beverley Glazer:

How did he come into your life? Because this is a musician and you're a business person, and so how did he come into your life?

Rhonda Nelson:

So I've always been a music lover and you know, I met him about a year and a half after the accident with my second dad and I had really not focused on things like going out and enjoying music and whatnot. I did focus on myself, I focused on my mom. I focused on things like going out and enjoying music and whatnot. I did focus on myself, I focused on my mom, I focused on the business, yes, but there were still just things like that that I didn't do a lot of. And so a couple of girlfriends said you know, we really need to go listen to music. We live in Nashville, we love music, we love listening to this, and Little River Band was going to be in Nashville and you know, we grew up listening to Little River Band. We were skating to Little River Band at the skating rink and we knew all the songs, and so we went to a show here in Nashville and was, fortunate enough, one of my girlfriends was invited backstage and you know, I have to say a higher power, that that is played a role in this because you know, we weren't we weren't the typical groupies, if you will, we were completely sober. We were just there having a great time and I was fortunate enough to start a conversation with Wayne and, honestly, this is where the story has a really big meaning. So I had found out at the time Wayne had a daughter that had passed away in a car accident many years, quite a few years before I had met him, and we talked about a lot of the different work we did for various charity organizations and all kinds of things like that. And this was the 90s, so email was still. It wasn't like it is today, but I do remember we swapped email addresses and I went home that night and I wrote him an email and I said I don't know what I can do for the organization that you are starting in memory of your daughter. I live in Tennessee, you live in San Diego. I don't know how this could possibly work, but whatever I can do, I would love to be able to help you Fast forward.

Rhonda Nelson:

Obviously, we continue to see each other. We got married and here's what I say about the two tragic events of me losing both of my dads prepared me for being his wife and understanding to some degree what he had gone through when he lost his daughter. And so we, you know, I don't know. That's why I say if you haven't walked down that path, you don't know what a person is going through. And so we understand that when we still, to this day, recognize the anniversaries of their birthday or the dates that they passed or anything like that, we understand what each other's feeling and how to help one another through those things. And so, while all three of those situations were tragic situations, we are blessed. We're blessed to have each other and to understand and to be able to comfort one another and just be there for one another and understand.

Beverley Glazer:

And through it all, you also had a chronic condition.

Rhonda Nelson:

Yeah, just very shortly after we were married I was diagnosed with AERD, which is aspirin exasperated respiratory disease, but it took two years to get the diagnosis. But it took two years to get the diagnosis and there were a lot of trips to the emergency room in anaphylactic shock. When I would be on the road with Wayne and the band, the very first thing we always did when we got to a city was look to see where the nearest hospital was, and there was a lot of times, you know there were incidences where, honestly, I didn't think I was going to make it when I was out on the road and trying to get to a hospital because of a, you know, a flare Once I was diagnosed. Obviously then maintenance medications came into play and we were able to get it under control and through the years there's been quite a bit of an advancement in treating the disease and maintaining the symptoms, and I feel blessed to be a part of an organization that you know Allergy Asthma Network.

Rhonda Nelson:

Aerd is under their umbrella as one of the diseases that they support and I have had wonderful medical teams and so I feel really blessed to be where I am. But now, because I am well maintained and because I have had these experiences maintained and because I have had these experiences, for me it's important that I give back, and in doing so I talk about patient advocacy and advocating for, you know, affordable health care, not only just for AERD patients, but for everybody. But it like every disease, the drugs are expensive, finding the right doctors is difficult, and so I want to be a resource for patients who are dealing with it.

Beverley Glazer:

How can a woman, Rhonda, that's suffering and struggling advocate for themselves? Do you have?

Rhonda Nelson:

any advice. I think the first thing that you have to do because, especially women of my age and you know, in my 50s and older generations, we weren't really given permission to put ourselves first we took care of our families, we did our job, we took care of our households. And so I think the first thing that we have to do as women, we have to recognize that it is okay to put your health first, because if you're not healthy, you can't take care of your family, you can't do your job, you can't take care of your household. And so I would say, give yourself that permission, give yourself the grace to take the self-care time that you need. Yes, it's a balancing act. I get it Because we're busy, but just like you make time for everything else, you have to make time for yourself. And then I say it is important to do your research, understand your illness and understand that there you know there are, there is hope out there.

Rhonda Nelson:

There are a lot of different avenues for treatment, conventional and non-conventional, which I participate in both, but I found what worked for me. And the other big thing I didn't just walk into my doctor's office and let my doctor say this is what we're going to do A, b, c and D Great, but I dug a little deeper and I found other things that worked in conjunction with that to make have breast cancer, and let's say they have the exact same kind of breast cancer. We have AERD. One drug might work for patient A, that might not work for patient B, and so we have to know that physicians treat as a whole. They treat their population as a whole. These are the drugs, whatever. So it's up to us to then journalize what is working and what isn't working and work with our physician for our individualized treatment.

Beverley Glazer:

Yeah, and what I'm hearing as a common thread right through everything you've been saying is you refuse to be a victim.

Rhonda Nelson:

Yeah, yeah. I didn't want to live my life hindered by the sadness or the anger that comes when you lose someone in your family, and I didn't want to be hindered or angry about the disease I have and I didn't want it to define me. I was going to let that be just things that I've experienced and a disease that I have, not it defining me.

Beverley Glazer:

And you also wrote a book, A Different Life. Why did you write that and what is that book about?

Rhonda Nelson:

I wrote the book because I wanted to really shed light on mine and Wayne's life and life on the road and the things that we do, primarily because I believe we struggle in our society with quote unquote celebrities and while Wayne nor myself consider him a celebrity or us living a celebrity life, we have to be realistic that he's part of a, a nationally, a national and an international touring band that's been around for going on 50 years this coming year. So it is um, to some degree we we live a life that's a little bit different, but it was important for me to let fans and let the public get a glimpse of the real life. So, with reality TV and social media and all of those things that we have today, it looks like celebrities are exempt from anything awful. Right, for the most part, I mean we. You know when something super tragic happens, we hear about it, but for the most part it just seems like everything is rosy and it's not.

Rhonda Nelson:

You know, I wanted fans and people to know that we understand them on a level, on the same level. You know, we all have our problems, we all. I have a chronic disease. I've, you know, lost my parents. He's lost a daughter. We all have these kinds of things and we're not immune to them, and so it was just really important to show the human side of us.

Beverley Glazer:

So what message do you hope to give to others by your story, by even our conversation? What's the message of hope?

Rhonda Nelson:

Well, the message of hope is number one is number one just love the life that you live. Everybody's life is incredibly special and unique and it doesn't mean that your life has to be filled with these grandiose things or happenings or whatever. Every day that we have is a beautiful day and we live it. Live it to your fullest, live it with gusto and just embrace the and those loved ones around you. And I just life like life just makes me happy.

Rhonda Nelson:

It's not always easy, but I just feel like that if we put a little more effort into loving the life that we have and being grateful and thankful for that, as opposed to looking around and seeing all of this influence from social media and from the internet and thinking, oh geez, you know I can't do this because X, y, z or my life's not like that, so it's not fair, or they don't have to struggle the way I struggle, it's just a real downer and I just everyone's life is so unique and so purposeful and everyone has a beautiful story. It might not be the most powerful, gigantic story ever, or you know, everybody, just everybody has a story and everybody matters and their life matters and that's that's the message that I want to get out there.

Beverley Glazer:

Thank you. Thank you, rhonda, I think you did exactly that. Thank you so much. Rhonda Nelson is an AEMURD patient advocate, an author, a speaker and a philanthropist who champions affordable health care. Both she and her husband, wayne, focus on strengthening community and they offer mentorship and provide the resources to those in need. Where can people find you?

Rhonda Nelson:

Rhonda. My website is Rhonda and that's Rhonda with an H, so R-H-O-N-D-A B as in boy nelsoncom. And I'm also on Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn.

Beverley Glazer:

Terrific. And if you didn't catch those links, all those links are in the show notes and they'll be on my site too. That's reinventedpossiblecom. If you've enjoyed this episode, you may also like Boomer Banter. That's a podcast that focuses on financial literacy, mental and physical health, relationships and purpose, so check that out in the links below as well.

Beverley Glazer:

And now, my friends, what's next for you? Are you just going through the motions or are you really passionate about your life? My weekly self-coaching tips will help empower you through your journey. That link, of course, will be in the show notes, right below this episode. You can connect with me, beverly Glazer, on all social media platforms and in my positive group of Facebook that's Women Over 50 Rock, and if you think I can help you find your purpose and passion in your life, you can also schedule a quick Zoom in the show notes, and that, of course, is below too. I wanna thank you for listening. Have you enjoyed this conversation? Please subscribe so you don't miss out on the next one, and send this episode to a friend. And always remember that you only have one life, so keep aging with purpose and passion.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for joining us. You can connect with Bev on her website, reinventimpossiblecom and, while you're there, join our newsletter Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Until next time, keep aging with purpose and passion and celebrate life.