Announcer 0:05

Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the podcast designed to inspire your greatness and thrive through life. Get ready to conquer your fears. Here's your host, psychotherapist, coach, and empowerment expert, Beverly Glazer.

Beverley Glazer 0:23

What if How You Show Up speaks for you? And you've never even said a word. Well, welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion. I'm Beverley Glazer, a reinvention strategist and transition coach for women over 50, helping you turn a lifetime of wisdom into your most impactful chapter. And you can find me on reInventimpossible.com. These episodes share real stories from women who refuse to shrink, fade, or settle for less. We do not sugarcoat our challenges here. We rise above them. And you leave with a stronger belief and clarity about what you also can achieve, because your next chapter is not an accident, it's always a choice. And today's guest, Bria Johnson, shows us that our choice of clothes can work for us or against us. It all depends on what you wear. As Chief Style Stratagist and founder of Iconic with Style, Bria helps high-caliber women close the disconnect between who they've become internally and what their image actually projects. If you've ever walked into a room and felt unseen, underestimated, or not quite aligned with who you are, this conversation is for you. So welcome, Bria. Welcome.

Bria’s Pageant Roots

Bria Johnson 1:58

Thank you so much. Thank you for that lovely introduction, Bev. I'm so excited to be here. This is going to be a great conversation.

Beverley Glazer 2:05

It sure will. And so let's start by setting the scene. Did you grow up in a big family, a girly girl? Like what was life like for you?

Bria Johnson 2:15

Yes. So definitely grew up a girly girl, uh, for sure. And I'll get back to that in a moment. Definitely grew up in a big family too. So I have um it seven seven of us total. I have three sisters and three brothers. And um I am the oldest of all of them. So that comes with its um blessings and curses, I would say, being the oldest and being the first one that the family experiments on, right? Um and yes, definitely a girly girl. And I'm sure we'll dive into this more. Part of my history and my past, I was in beauty pageants for 18 years. And so really, which is where really my first, I would say, introduction with being image being perceived a certain way really started. Um, and so yes, that's that's a little bit of my background. I can't wait to dive in.

Beverley Glazer 3:14

Oh, yes, oh yes. The beauty pageant thing. Okay, I was just gonna ask if you'd learned from you know, dolls, but no, you were the doll. Yeah, yeah, I literally.

Bria Johnson 3:26

Uh, it was so funny. My mom um entered me into my first pageant. I think she said I was two. I was either I was one or two. I was definitely walking, so I was one or two, and it was at the mall and the galleria mall, and I won. And from there, my grandmother, my nana, who is also the inspiration uh behind my business, decided to fully commit to that. Uh, and we went on the pageant circuit for the next 17 plus years, and so no, yes, little, you know, little Miss Buffalo pageants, the sunburst page, like, yes, a very yeah, it was great.

Beverley Glazer 4:10

Oh, wow. And you're saying it was great. Was that stressful for a little girl to actually win on beauty?

Bria Johnson 4:18

What I mean, pageants are very stressful, you know, because it is you're also balanced when you're growing up. I'm thinking about when I was younger versus when I was a teenager, because then at that point I had been in them for a while. You're a kid too, and you're trying to balance being a kid and also this competition that you're in, uh, where you have, you know, a talent where you have to sometimes answer a question on the spot. Um, it's always challenging, but really, you know, a lot of what I learned in those pageants is who I am today. So I am definitely grateful that I was in them despite the challenges uh that I experienced.

Beverley Glazer 5:00

Wow. I mean, that's huge. Okay. Because I've only noticed beauty pageants from a distance. And I say, oh, look at how cute they are. They must be under such pressure to be so cute and to turn around. But it it really influenced you as far as style and who you are today.

Bria Johnson 5:19

I mean, 1000%, right? Because I mean, you know, again, we had different categories where you had to um perform. And then I think one thing that I always remember the talent was always my favorite portion because typically I I typically did a dance. Sometimes I didn't, but dancing is where I felt myself because I loved dancing. And when I had a dance number, I showed up my best. Um, and again, connecting that back to style, right? Is just like when you are when your external performance presence, the costume is in alignment with who you are internally, that's when you're gonna feel your best. Um, and so that's the talent portion really stood out to me a lot because again, I loved dancing. I still dance to this day. You have to pull me off the dance floor, okay? Uh and so yeah, so I learned a lot.

Beverley Glazer 6:21

And your grandmother always had a sense of style. And and you you told me that you know she was pretty drip poor, as they say, and did not care, she did not act as if she was. Style was an image, and and tell us about her, yeah, for sure.

Bria Johnson 6:40

So, my Nana, who I love so much, and I'm sure when she listens to this, she's gonna smile because that's just I'm also her first grandchild. So there's that special bond there as well. Um, but yeah, when I was talking about being poor, and she didn't grow up with a lot either, but we didn't either. Um, and you know, her path, which is so interesting, her and my uh grandfather have been married for nearly 60 years. Um, they had my mom at a young, I think they were like 18 and 20 something years old. Um, and you know, she talking about style being part of her potential, she worked because she had my mom, she was young, she decided to get her degree while she had my mom, and she always ensured that the way she presented herself was in alignment with where she was going, not the matter of her circumstance. And so, unless you hear uh my grandmother's story, you really wouldn't know. And so I always like you don't need to judge a book by its cover because there's so much depth behind people's um journey and path. Um, and when we came along, when my mom had us, um, you know, she my grandmother instilled in us, you know, you might not have all the resources in the world, but you don't dress based on what your environment is right now. Where are you going? Because that's how you show up and express yourself. And that is the that is long before I had a business, that really stuck with me and it is the really the foundation of iconic with style.

Beverley Glazer 8:21

Yes, we've all heard dress for success. And and usually that means dress up, go to work, put on the right suit, put on the right top, whatever it is, dress for success. What does it mean for you?

Bria Johnson 8:36

When yeah, I love this question because when I think about success, I think it starts internally, but we do get, I feel like with messaging, we get taught that it's something external. And for myself and what I work with with my clients, in order to be successful in any room or any space that you're in, you have to be in alignment with who you are. When you are not, and so dress for success to me means you are fully embodying the new rooms you're walking into, the new space you're walking into, because when you embody that, people feel that in your presence, and you also attract your people. Um, and so that's what dress for dress for success means to me.

Beverley Glazer 9:28

Yeah, yeah. And I'm also thinking, just as you're talking, dress for success also means pretty well the same thing when you walk out the door. You're dressing. Absolutely. Yeah, you know, not only business, it's I mean it's how you're treated.

Bria Johnson 9:46

Absolutely. I mean, dress for success, and it like you said, it's not business, it is any room that you're going into. If you're, you know, volunteering, if you, you know, if you have you have to go represent your kids at a PTO meeting, whatever it is, it is making sure that you are in alignment with your identity and also um commanding the respect, whatever the environment is, let it be a beauty pageant that I might be in, let it be, you know, my business, let it be school. So you're right, it's not just business. To me, success is bigger than business, it's bigger than a dollar amount. It is fully expressing your identity, no matter the environment or who you interact with.

Beverley Glazer 10:31

Right. Yeah. Do you think that people actually know that their clothes could be inhibiting their success?

Bria Johnson 10:43

I will say yes and no, right? Because um, and what and I'll tell you why I say yes and no. The women that I work with understand that their wardrobe is strategic, right? Um, and the reason why, and I will also say yes because we all know and hear that first impressions are so important. The reason why I say no is because I do also believe there is, you know, people some people don't see it as a strategic part of their plan or you know, the path and journey that they are on. And some people also decide to believe that it doesn't matter. And the reality is it might not be important to you, but you are sending a message regardless if you intend to or not. And what I will rather do is be intentional about the message that I'm sending. Um, so yeah, I will say yes and no, of course, with anything, right?

Beverley Glazer 11:50

Yeah, it's true. But what I'm thinking of also is we have our own kind of sense of style. It may not be good, it may not be successful.

Bria Johnson 12:02

You know, I say to each of all, everybody is unique. Yes, everybody is unique, right?

Beverley Glazer 12:09

But when when you have to present yourself and you know you have to present yourself, I can see people coming up with an objection and say, you know, Bria, um, I have this huge meeting. It's imperative to me to make a really good impression. And what do you suggest? And you may suggest something that would be absolutely perfect, and they say, ah, it's not me. How do you get them to see it?

Bria Johnson 12:35

They give it a try. Yeah, well, I think first with when working with me, right? Like, because what I never do, I know some people ask me, Real, what's weird to this specific meeting? The type of stylist that I am, I actually zoom all the way out. Um so, and what I mean by that is I look at your wardrobe in totality and not what outfit I'm going to wear to this. Um, and so in that process, of course, there is some pushback related to, you know, where you're comfortable and not comfortable. And I think what that really boils down to, I always set expectations up front with anybody that I work with, open and honest communication is key. And what I have realized has helped people when something feels uncomfortable and new is provide additional context. What happens is when you provide that context, people now see your point of view. Um, another thing as well, too, going back to like the process that I have in the beginning, it identity is very important. There are some things that some people are just not going to do, let it be religious reasons or maybe they had an experience. Those are boundaries that I respect. Um, if they're if it's an absolute no. And those are questions I ask up front. And I also probe to kind of get context on why. Um, but I believe again, where if my client and I are at a crossworlds where we have a different opinion, me providing that context, they are relying on me, all my expertise. So that context helps them make that shift. And it's also about integration. So introducing pieces one at a time so they can become familiar with what this new image feels and looks like because it's gonna be different than what you had before. That's why you're working with me, right? Sure, sure, sure.

Beverley Glazer 14:33

And so do you change colors slowly? You know, there are people that say, Oh, I just love blue. And when you're taking a look at them, you say, uh-uh, blue is not gonna work. How do you get them to separate from the love of a particular color, maybe a beige or whatever that you know is not for them?

Bria Johnson 14:54

Well, for me, it's all about also again, what is what are you going to try to achieve with your wardrobe? What are the signals that you want to send? Um, and you can still have a favorite color, but now maybe instead of, and again, it's not about the color itself, it's about what you edit and revise around it. So let's just say blue is the favorite color, but in the certain context that you're transitioning to, I may have a different opinion. That doesn't mean you can't wear blue, that's mean let's be strategic about where we place the blue. And so it's again, so that's why it's like it's not individual outfits, it's your wardrobe in totality. Um, and again, what are when you put something together, what are you highlighting and what are you choosing to revise or exclude?

Beverley Glazer 15:52

Yeah. Okay, yes, excellent answer. I've got one I know everybody has it in their mind. What happens if you feel I'm too fat today, or I'm not looking good today, or uh I feel self-conscious about my body today, or I lost a lot of weight and now I want to have something different and I can't get that now. How the body image stuff, Bria, what do you do about that?

Bria Johnson 16:23

Well, I mean, body image, of course, plays a significant role. Um, and what I tell as somebody who myself has struggled with weight up and down and for different reasons, uh, I believe I I mean all shapes and sizes, we should love them. And so I am huge on making sure you should love your body. Um, and again, if that's you might have gained some weight, you might have lost some weight. Um, it doesn't matter what the size is at the moment, you deserve to show up as your best self. Um, and you can show up as your best self no matter what your size is. And I and I believe that because as some in my family, we we we struggle with up, down, sideways, but I have learned to love all the, you know, let it be slim curves, and you just have to you have to be positive about your body for sure.

Beverley Glazer 17:16

You have to feel good, sure, sure. Yeah, you say strategic, not superficial. That's what, yes, that's what fashion's about, and I love that. What do you mean exactly? Be strategic about what you put on your body, yeah.

Bria Johnson 17:34

Well, what I mean by being strategic is it kind of goes back to what we were talking about before. Your wardrobe is nonverbal communication, we tend to be visual people, and so when you walk into a space, we are all making judgments, just because that's how our brain works based on our background, society. We you know, we're forming an opinion, and so that's why what you wear is strategic. Because if you want to go into a space and you know you have an intention, you know you have something you want to say, you have introduced yourself before you've even said hello. And so that is why it's strategic and not superficial to worry about what is your external presence.

Beverley Glazer 18:26

Okay, makes total sense. Yes. And I would go ahead. Yeah, no, I'm thinking of somebody that says, Oh, this sounds so expensive. Well, I have to get a lot of new clothes, or I have to throw out all my old clothes. What do you say to someone like that?

Bria Johnson 18:42

Well, for the people who say they have to get a whole bunch of new clothes or throw out a lot of new clothes, it's not about value, it's about intention. And so, part of my process with my clients, we always uh start with a wardrobe reclamation process, which is let's go through your current wardrobe to see what pieces you can keep and what pieces can you release. And then we can fill in the gaps, and so it it's not let's throw everything away, it is let's see what is truly in alignment with who you are becoming now. Um and and again, budgets change, right? Like we can some people it doesn't matter what the budget is, you can make it work. You can make it work, right?

Beverley Glazer 19:36

It's true.

Imposter Feelings And Integration

Bria Johnson 19:37

It's true, it is. I mean, we all wear clothes. That's the thing I want people to re we all wear clothing, no matter what what your budget is, you have to put on clothes. So, where do you shop? Um, and that is what you know. I have experience shopping at all different stores. Um, and so yeah, I think when you look at it like that, like, oh yeah, I do wear clothes, I already buy clothes. Yeah, buy the right ones. Exactly, yes, exactly. Yep.

Beverley Glazer 20:06

And it's just a yeah, no, no, I'm also thinking of um some clients of mine who have stylists that put them all together and or send them all kinds of clothes and and say this is what you should wear, etc. etc. And they'll put it on and they'll say, I don't know, I I you know it's not me, it's just not me. I feel like an imposter in this. Now, ha ha you know exactly what I'm saying, right? So, how can somebody overcome an imposter syndrome or get rid of that feeling that maybe they're dressed really appropriately, but it's just not them?

Bria Johnson 20:49

Yeah, and I it starts with, at least for when I work with clients, it really does start with I want to be super clear on what are the goals, what are the rooms you're walking into, what are the spaces you're walking into. And I also ask, where do you feel like from your point of view, your wardrobe is holding you back from living in the influence that you've already earned. And so when that happens, natural over time, and this is part of my framework, is again the integration piece. Because at first you're navigating this newer identity that you've already felt internally, and as you navigate that, you then start integrating it into your everyday life. And so it takes time and it's a process to really see how the pieces are now communicating who you were already inside internally. And when you see the way that you see that evidence is not only physically on you, but also how people are responding to you. Um, and so I think it's about how quickly people are open to. Change and some people are slower to change, and that's okay. But as somebody who partners with my clients, I know that up front and decide how quickly we can integrate this look or how slowly over time we need to integrate this.

Beverley Glazer 22:14

Ah, yes. Oh, okay. That's good. So you don't just all of a sudden change something, it's a process, and you have to get used to it. You have to get used to everything.

Bria Johnson 22:26

I mean, it is too, but I also say, you know, this I think this is a misconception of stylists as well. Too. My job is not to change a woman. That is not my job. What you hire me to do is to ensure your external presence is in alignment with who you are internally. And so that's why that identity piece and my questions in the beginning ask all these questions because I am mirroring the two. And so if if you feel misalignment from your external presence and your internal identity, what I call I call that the embodiment gap. And so my job is to close that gap. And again, that's making sure that that external, internal presence is matching. So I don't change women at all. I'm not saying you need to be a new person, right? No, no. Yeah. No, no, no. Change is what I do. Okay. Yeah, right. The bad. That's what the bad does. I'm like, who are you embodying? I'm like, who aren't going into these rooms? I'm like, who do you need to embody now? What is the respect and what are the perceptions in the rooms that you know you're going into? That is that's my job is embodiment. Yes.

Dressing During Reinvention And Divorce

Beverley Glazer 23:40

Right. Now I'm thinking of another question. Somebody that isn't even sure now where she's going. Somebody that's now in a transition of divorce or a transition of like reinvention of their image because they've got a terrific promotion or somebody that is stepping into something. How do you work with that, for instance? And and before I even go there, there's so many stories when you think of, okay, now I'm divorced. I'm gonna go out there, and now I need new clothes. So how what do you do with a woman like that?

Bria Johnson 24:17

Well, most of the actually all the women I work with are in some type of transition. And so let that be transition into larger stages and visit visibility, transition into a new role. Um, I I work with women like that. The women who are unsure, and what I mean by unsure, like they don't know their next direction. What I actually tell them this might not be the time. Because although I work with women in transition, they know where they're headed. If you don't know where you're headed, it might not be the right time. And I'm like, so once you decide now, you might not know how to externally uh communicate the direction you're going into, but they have decided already that they're going into a new direction. Okay, so they have the vision. They they know that they're yes, they have claimed and know they're going into a new direction. Absolutely. And then again, what I do is going back to okay, tell me about the goals, tell me about um the lifestyle, these are the lifestyle, these are the questions I ask. Then that is when I'm able to I bring the vision to life. Because remember, again, I'm not changing anyone. So if you are unsure, I'm not in the business to tell you who you are. No, yeah, yeah, no, no.

Beverley Glazer 25:37

So, how do you help women that think there's something wrong with them when they're misaligned with the clothes that they're wearing, or they say, you know, there's something, I don't know, what is it? Can you help me out here? Can you make it look like I'm all together, or something like that? I'm there's some misalignment here. Yeah, for sure.

Bria Johnson 25:59

Well, first, there's nothing wrong with you because there's nothing wrong with us. So I'll always start there. I have we have to remind ourselves and hear that from other women that there is nothing wrong with you. Um, again, what most people think they're feeling is again, like that lack of confidence, that lack of put together, that lack of misalignment. And it does go back to the core uh problem I solve, which is that embodiment gap is just opened. Because and I'm sure you've been there before too, Ben. Like, and I've I've been there, right? Even when I had launched iconic, you go through transitions and reinventions all the time, and then what happens is you stand in front of your closet and you're like, I have nothing to wear, but you are staring at a wardrobe full of clothing. That is just I tell women, use that as data that you have, you're ready for different and larger spaces. And again, nothing is wrong with you. It's just there's no evidence of that new person around you, but there's nothing wrong with you, right? Just use it as data, not as judgment.

Beverley Glazer 27:12

Excellent advice. Excellent advice. What's one thing that you would tell an older woman who's feeling invisible and disconnected for her power?

Bria Johnson 27:23

Oh, oh my goodness. What is one thing I would tell an older woman? First, you are not invisible because women like me look up and hear this is going back to my nana. There are wise messages that we all can learn. And I I believe there's never an expiration date on being seen and living in your zone of genius. And so I really think it's just reminding them, like women like me, and then girls younger to me, where you know, we look to you also for what have you been through, the stories to support us in our in our journey. And then so that's what I would say, like on a personal level. And then going back to the style piece of it is when I when I hear that, I go back to there is a gap happening, right? Because you have you're now going through this transition of age and being wiser. Um, and your wardrobe is probably still reflecting who you were in a previous season. So you're feeling invisible because externally you you haven't transitioned, but internally you have.

Beverley Glazer 28:44

Oh, wow. Why words, Bria? Thank you.

Bria Johnson 28:48

Yeah, absolutely.

How To Find Bria

Beverley Glazer 28:50

Yeah. Bria Johnson is the chief style strategist and founder of Iconic with Style, a personal styling consultancy that helps accomplished women align their wardrobe with the woman that they've become. With nearly two decades of experience in leadership and image consulting, Bria sees style as more than just clothing. She sees it as communication. She helps women close the embodiment gap, the disconnect between their internal growth and the image they project. So their presence reflects their authority, confidence, and evolution before they even speak. Here's some takeaways from this episode. Your presence speaks before you do. Style is communication. Dressing in alignment isn't vanity, it's strategy. And what you wear shapes how others respond to you and also how you respond to yourself. If you've been relating to this episode, here's some actions to take right now. Examine your closet and ask yourself if these items actually reflect who you are today. Upgrade an item, buy some shoes, a lipstick, a blazer, some accessories, and stop saving your best pieces for someday. Wear them now and enjoy them. For similar episodes on visibility and confidence, check out episodes 150 and 166 of Aging with Purpose and Passion. And if you're over 50 and love to travel, the Ageless Traveler is your number one resource for lifelong travel and discover the exciting places, the luxury travel for less grandparenting and solo travel and culture and culinary experiences and meet people who make travel easy. That's theagelistraveler.com. And so, Bria, where can people find you? Please share your links and what are they all over the web so they can reach out to you?

Bria Johnson 30:56

Absolutely. Love um, you know, connecting. Please connect with me because I love having conversations. And you can find me on Instagram at iconic with style. I am also on LinkedIn at Bria Johnson. I'm also on Facebook at Bria JohnsonOfficial. And you can also visit my website at iconicwithstyle.com. And as Bev said, if you feel that uh misalignment between who you are internally and who you are presenting externally, uh definitely reach out to me so we can talk about that embodiment gap.

Free Roadmap And Closing

Beverley Glazer 31:34

Wonderful. Those links are in the show notes, and they're also going to be on my site too. That's reinventimpossible.com. And so, my friends, what's next for you? If you're ready to move from stuck to unstoppable, download my free roadmap, and that's in the show notes, along with ways to connect with me for women over 50 Rock. That's my Facebook community. And if this conversation speaks to you, please follow the show, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs it today. And remember, you only have one life, so live it with purpose and passion.

Announcer 32:17

Thank you for joining us. You can connect with Bev on her website reinventimpossible.com. And while you're there, join our newsletter. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Until next time, keep aging with purpose and passion. And celebrate life.