Welcome: When Your Career No Longer Defines You

Announcer 0:01

Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the podcast for women over 50 and beyond who know much more lies ahead of them. Listen to real stories, hard truths, and life-changing choices that may lead you seeing your own life a little differently. Here's your host, work and life transition coach, Beverley Glazer.

Beverley Glazer 0:26

What if you've worked so hard to be successful that you have very little time just for you? Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion. I'm Beverley Glazer, a work and life transition coach for accomplished women over 50 to continue to have purpose and passion for life so you don't feel that your best years are behind you. And you can find me at reinventimpossible.com. These conversations go beyond inspiring stories. They're but the moments that make you stop, question what you know, and make the difficult choices to move forward. We don't sugarcoat the hard parts here. We talk about what changed, what it took to move through it, and what became possible because of it. Today I'm joined by Wanda Cox, a strategic business advisor who helps women build businesses that also work for their lives. Wanda left a corporate career after 24 years at Verizon and found herself moving in a direction she never could have expected. If you've ever felt pressured by other people's needs or wondered if the success you built really serves you today, this conversation is for you. And stay with us to the end and I'll share some quick takeaways and actions that you could use for yourself too. So welcome, Wanda. Welcome.

Wanda Cox 2:05

Thank you. I'm really excited to speak with you today.

Growing Up Introverted and Meeting Expectations

Beverley Glazer 2:08

Wanda, take us back in time. What was it like growing up in your family way back when you were a child?

Wanda Cox 2:15

Oh my, we're going back to the Wayback Machine. Way back. I grew up in Connecticut. I'm an only child, which um I have learned as I gained friends and they talk about what their sibling relationships were. It were very different kind of day-to-day, um, large extended family. So my cousins became my siblings in that stretch of the imagination. Um always been somewhat introverted. Um, so I don't I never know if that was related to being an only child. Um I I enjoy my own company.

Beverley Glazer 2:53

That's a good thing.

Wanda Cox 2:54

Exactly. I don't mind quiet. Um, I think it led to being creative too, because you know, I could entertain myself anywhere, anytime, and not think about it. Um, what more would you like to know? Because I could go through many roads here.

24 Years at Verizon: When Corporate Life Changed

Beverley Glazer 3:13

Oh, sure. Well, what I'm thinking of is corporate. You went into corporate. Um, was that something you always wanted to do? You went to school. That was that the intention you wanted to be successful and take that corporate route.

Wanda Cox 3:29

Sure. It's it's funny. I laugh now in hindsight because it was the program. It's you went to school, you did well in school, you got into college, you did well in college, you got a job and then he died there. Um he retired and then he died. That was like the playbook. I never questioned it, never thought about it. That was the expectation. Um, and it wasn't until someone said that's not gonna happen now that I really had to look at, oh, well, that's not what my playbook says.

Beverley Glazer 4:01

Right, right. And and today there's a different playbook. People jump in and they don't expect to stay. But but back then there was a roadmap. And if you got went to college, followed the yellow brick road, you should be successful. And again, you spent 24 years at Verizon and you loved it.

Wanda Cox 4:28

When I when I first started in Verizon, I remember I can still clearly remember everyone's like, oh, you've got it made. Because back then, you know, you worked for the phone company and they took care of you, and people retired, and they retired well. Um, so I thought I had done everything I was supposed to do. And as the industry changed, telecom changed, it wasn't regulated the same way anymore. Um, they started downsizing. And I think I counted, I made it through 10 downsizings before it impacted me. And it became a place I didn't want to be because it was so tense. People couldn't relax because you never knew when the hammer was coming down. And it was sad because I actually loved my job when I started. People used to make fun of me. My, you know, my relatives, like they were waiting for me to say I hated my job. And I loved it. I thought it was great. But over time, it became this place where I didn't want to go. I was looking forward to holidays and weekends, but I didn't want to leave. It's kind of like the golden handcuff. I was paid well. Um vacation time, you know, if you've been there for a while, you're through your vacation time. So I'm like, I can't tough this out. And they decided for me that no, you're not gonna tough this out.

Job Loss After 50: Anger and Identity Shock

Wanda Cox 5:45

You're going to leave now.

Beverley Glazer 5:47

But that's a shock at any time.

Wanda Cox 5:50

Oh, for sure. It was.

Beverley Glazer 5:52

And and after 24 years, it's a real shock. You know, so how did you push through that? Because you also have to overcome the fact of I'm going back, the old therapist in me coming back saying, you were an only child, meaning there's even more pressure, because everyone expected, oh, Wanda's succeeding, and now she doesn't have a job after 24 years. Oh my gosh, yes. Oh my gosh. It's like you were there. Oh yes. But that is so true. Yeah, and that's additional pressure, and it's the pressure we have that's all self-imposed, you know, because people that don't have that experience, uh, and I would say, you know, it's always a kick in the head. But if you're already thinking, like people today do, I'm thinking of the younger generation, who is, you know, you don't stay in a job for longer than five years, you already have an exit plan before you even have an entry.

Wanda Cox 7:00

You know, they pretty much happen at the same time.

Beverley Glazer 7:04

Right. So, so how did you handle that? Because now you're handling the internal pressure and you're handling the pressure of now I have to be successful again in another way. Where was your thinking there?

Wanda Cox 7:18

Um, I was, I, if I'm being totally honest, I was really angry. Um, because as far as I concern, I held up my part of the bargain. I did everything that was asked of me, and I followed the plan. And then someone magically said, Well, that's not, we don't care. Um, that's not happening now. So I was also fortunate though, that because of the tenure that I had, um, I had a nice severance package so that I wasn't so desperate when I got out of corporate that I had to go right back to something. And that will forever be a gift. In hindsight, I see it for the gift it was in the midst. Not so much. Because, like you said, it for me, I had succeeded. Folks saw me as successful. Um, and now it's like, oh, she doesn't even have a job. And boo, you know, I I don't think I'm the most ego-driven person in the world, but that hit that hit really close to home. Yeah. Um, so I didn't know what to do. I thought about going back to corporate, and just the thought of that, of going back to what I just got out of, just it took my breath away in some ways because I'm like, I can't go back into that environment anymore. Um,

Finding Support and a New Direction Through Coaching

Wanda Cox 8:38

so surprisingly, something that had never been on my radar of starting my own business, that's how that kind of came to be. I started exploring. Yeah, it never never would have occurred to me. If it hadn't kicked me out, I'd still be miserable and still be there counting the days to retirement.

Beverley Glazer 8:58

But now, when you were in corporate, regardless of what it was, you felt safe because you'd put in your years, you knew what it was. And when you're an entrepreneur, huh, it's free range.

Wanda Cox 9:13

Yes there is no safe space.

Beverley Glazer 9:15

No safe space.

Wanda Cox 9:16

Right.

Beverley Glazer 9:17

How did you change?

Wanda Cox 9:19

Oh, good point. I was, I'm not really sure. I wish I could say that there was like this moment, you know, the the angel sang and the lights came on. Um, but for me, that's not really what it was. Um, there were things that I know now in high tech that lined up for me because um I went through a weight loss journey um in an online program. And I became a coach in that program. And it was just like a little part-time thing I did while I was in corporate. And so when I was trying to figure out my next move, my coach said to me, Have you considered coaching? I'm like, uh, no. Instead of going back to corporate where I, you know, I'd be miserable. But I had to check every two weeks. And I hired a coach. I've had a coach probably from that moment on, I've had a coach for the most part of my business career to kind of guide my way. And I worked with her trying to figure out what I was gonna do next. And I had that little cushion. So I my very first job was as a health and wellness coach. And that's where I kind of tested the waters to see what this whole business thing was like. And did you like it? Was it for you? I get, I liked it with one small exception. Um, being a health and wellness coach, talking about people looking at you and using you as an example, I struggled. I don't like being the face. And when you're a health and wellness coach, people are looking to use like how much did you exercise? And did you you had a cookie? Oh my God, how do you even have a cookie? Why are you eating cookies? Um, and I struggled with that because I'm gonna be myself. I did not like what I was seeing in the coaching industry. It made me nervous how people were approaching it. But what I really loved was helping my fellow coaches. They struggled with the business part, and that's where I shine. I was helping people with websites and email campaigns and things like that. And that's how once again, no dramatic moment. It was just kind of falling in the breakcrombs all along the way.

Beverley Glazer 11:25

Right. And before you know it, you became a business coach. And your career just naturally changes. And very often this happens with all of us as we just keep on evolving. So when you're looking at your career changes and your pivots, what did you see about yourself? What did you learn about yourself?

From Corporate Career to Business Advisor

Wanda Cox 11:54

That's a good question. Um, the very first when I kind of took on being a VA, I learned everything about how businesses run online. Um, my mind loves to put the pieces together, um, loves to say what's the easiest way, the simplest way, the least expensive way to do something. So I was really drawn to that. Um and there were no, it in as you know, in the business, there's always that next kind of mountain to climb. There's always something that needs to be fixed, addressed, packaged, clients to deal with. Um, so there was never a shortage of work. So as I learned more, I started being more valuable in people's businesses in different ways. Um, I moved on from being a BA to an OBM because people were faced with different challenges that way. So I just kind of took oil, like I said, I'm a little slow sometimes when it comes to my my inner work. Um, it usually for me is hindsight. It's all watching the threads after I was kind of going through. I'm like, oh, okay. But the willingness to take that step, I think that's what made it different for me, even if I wasn't quite sure what it was.

Beverley Glazer 13:04

I like the way you said that the willingness to take that step. I think that that risk taking is huge, particularly for women who have been taught to be safe. You know, don't do that. Men will jump in. Women go slowly. You know, not that this is wrong, but it is different. And it often holds us back. Do you find that that's one of the things that hold women back when you're working with women?

Taking Career Risks Without Losing Financial Security

Wanda Cox 13:33

I think so. And I also think I try to be mindful. I'm not exactly this huge risk taker. It's you know, one of the reasons I hung in in corporate for so long, because it was safe, it was known. Well, safe, quote unquote, but it was known. Um and I think that people think if I take a risk, I have to go at a thousand miles an hour while my hair is on fire and there's no water nearby. Right. And I contend you you can take a risk that's not quite that dangerous and still be successful. So I, yes, I changed the trajectory, but I had a little cushion underneath me to make me feel safe and comfortable. But I knew I had a fallback. Um, I learned new skills and I took on early clients who, you know, weren't paying me very much to get the experience before I dived in. So I think that it's a when women can find that place to stretch, but soap is a little safe land under them. I think they'll they'll tend to jump in a little bit faster.

Beverley Glazer 14:39

What's do you think the biggest problem women have, women entrepreneurs or women that want to take that step or are just learning? What's their biggest problem?

Wanda Cox 14:52

Balancing everything that is demanded of them and expecting to be perfect at them all all at the same time. So I gotta be a phenomenal mother, I have to be a great community person, and my business has to reach six figures in the first six months. Right. Good luck. Right. And I'd like to sleep, you know, more than two hours a night. I think that those demands of trying to do so much all at once are really a huge detriment to us.

Beverley Glazer 15:24

Right. So you're working with women, you're working with their business, you're working also to help them create a life and a life balance, admit, you know, work-life balance, which we all talk about. Most people say do not exist. But what would you say to a woman who has worked and built their success and and wants very, very hard to be able to have that work-life balance and is very fearful that if they change one little bit, something's gonna slip and they'll lose it all. And so you're holding on.

Wanda Cox 16:08

Holding on and still losing things. Because we can hold on tight, but you know, you can white knuckle it, but while you're doing that, you're not really realizing that things still are slipping through your fingers.

Build By Design With Boundaries

Wanda Cox 16:20

So, my biggest thing that I preach day in and day out for people is to make conscious decisions and to do it by design. So many of our businesses and our lives are built by default. And then we're wondering, how did I end up here? It's because you just get caught up in the day-to-day and not make conscious changes. And when you make conscious changes and decisions, that's where the magic happens. That's where you can say, okay, I get it. I can't do these 12 things extremely well. I can do these three, and I can be happy with that. And I don't care what Suzy Q says, I don't care what that sales page says that you can get me started on running your business from the beach while you make two trillion dollars. Um, you know, if I'm not living up to that, I'm not gonna beat myself up. It's those kind of discussions that we need to have.

Beverley Glazer 17:16

Yes, yes. I'm hearing you loud and clear because as you know, you and I also discuss in the coaching business, where uh there's always that ultimate dream that you could do this if you do that, and you can always just go into coaching and be a coach and and make a million dollars while you sleep. Um but uh the bottom line is everything is a business and everything is a lot of work. And to understand that when you have integrity and when you're sincere, then that's where you can really help people. And and so people reach out to you, Wanda. But what if they're they do have those golden handcuffs and they are in a successful career, but they say, hey, you know, my family or our or or or my mother or other people need me too. And I am so burnt. What do you say to women like that? Because those handcuffs do hold you. That check that comes in every two weeks, you know, is is a constant and makes you feel worthy. What do you say to that woman?

Wanda Cox 18:31

I think that woman has to, I won't say realistic. I think that we need to honor those tourists. And if that two weeks is what you really value, I'm not gonna talk you out of it. I am gonna help you see the reality of that two weeks and make you look at is it worth the Sunday night horrors that you don't want to go to work on Monday morning? And if you can answer yes to that, who am I to tell you differently? If you're willing to sacrifice that. But if you consciously want to say, I don't want that sick feeling in my stomach of going Monday morning into that job, then we can have a conversation about what that looks like. It may just simply be, what can you do a few hours a week? Realistically. It doesn't kind of go back to my conversation about please don't throw everything away all at once. It's not really called for, it's not necessary to be successful, in my opinion, in my humble opinion. I think that there is room in the middle not to burn it all down, but not to hold on so tight that you can't. Because then realistically, I'm a caregiver. I get it. My schedule is not always my own. So we lay out on the table what are your true responsibilities? What does this take out of you and what's important to you? And then we work with that. But we gotta be honest. You know, you cannot subsist on four hours of sleep a night. Let's be real. I think that sometimes we lose focus of that reality.

Beverley Glazer 20:14

Right. So what I'm hearing is you really have to evaluate what you want from your life, and your business is just part of your life.

Wanda Cox 20:26

Exactly.

Beverley Glazer 20:27

So what's the real deal here?

Wanda Cox 20:30

Yes. That's you will not find Pollyanna here. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna tell you it's all gonna be rainbows and unicorns. No. That wouldn't be fair to you or me. Um, when you have that integrity that you were speaking of, it's not only integrity in the clients or the business you have, it's integrity for yourself. You can't have you need both, or something is gonna suffer.

Beverley Glazer 20:51

Exactly. Thank you, Wanda. Wanda Cox is a strategic business advisor who spent 24 years at Verizon before leaving a corporate career. Today she helps women owners solve problems, simplify their work, organize more effectively, and build successful businesses without sacrificing their personal lives.

Takeaways Links And What Next

Beverley Glazer 21:15

So here are a few takeaways from this episode. Starting over is not starting from scratch. Your knowledge and experience comes with you. Set boundaries. Success shouldn't cost you your health or your happiness. And priorities change. What worked 10 years ago may not fit the life you want today. And if you've been relating to this episode, here are some actions that you could do for yourself right now. Notice where you keep taking responsibility and ask yourself if you really need to do that. Set boundaries, say no and designate. And you don't have to stop doing, but you do. Have to take time for yourself too. For similar episodes on aging with purpose and passion, check out episode 197, You Can't Keep Pushing, and Episode 190, You Built A Life. Now what? And it's like podcasts for older women. The Reinvention Rebels podcast shares stories of unapologetic women from women from 50 to 90 who have reimagined their life on their own terms. And that's reinventionrebels.com. And so Wanda, where can people find you? Please share your links.

Wanda Cox 22:40

Okay, um, I would love to connect with people on LinkedIn. I am WandaMs and Maria Cox. And my website is wondacox.com. And there's a quiz there for people who are trying to figure out what's my next step when the momentum isn't working anymore. And that's montacox.com slash momentum quiz.

Beverley Glazer 23:01

Those links are in the show notes. And they're on my website too. That's reinventimpossible.com. And now my friends, what's next for you? What's one thing that you can let go of right now and allow someone else to do? Send me a message. And I'd love to hear from you. Subscribe and share it with someone who may need it right now. And remember, you only have one life to live it with purpose.

Announcer 23:37

You've been listening to Aging with Purpose and Passion with Beverley Glazer. For more conversations And to explore Beverley's work.com. This story ends here. Yours may just be beginning.