Speaker 1: 0:07

Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the podcast designed to inspire your greatness and thrive through life. Get ready to conquer your fears. Here's your host psychotherapist, coach and empowerment expert, Beverly Glazer psychotherapist, coach and empowerment expert, beverly Glazer.

Beverley Glazer: 0:36

If you thought it's too late to build a life with meaning, this is your wake-up call, because it is not. Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion the podcast for women over 50, ready to live the life on their own terms. So each week you will hear raw conversations, inspiring stories and get practical tools to help you reignite your fire. I'm Beverly Glazer, a transformational coach and therapist for women ready to reclaim their voice and break free from what's holding them back, and you can always find me on reinventimpossiblecom. Sophia Diaz is a philanthropist, an international entrepreneur and an author who was in a secretly abusive marriage and lost everything when she divorced of marriage and lost everything when she divorced. Today, she uses her voice, her resources and her influence to help women, children and the elderly to break free from their shame, step into their power and rebuild their lives, which proves that it's never too late to rewrite your story. Welcome, sophia.

Sophia Diaz: 1:46

Good morning Beverley. Thank you so very much for having me.

Beverley Glazer: 1:50

Sophia, you were a child of the world. You grew up in India. You moved between Europe and China. What was your life all about as you were growing up?

Sophia Diaz: 2:04

My childhood was quite exciting for me, I think extraordinarily exciting. I was in an all-girls boarding school and you know it's a very structured way of life, so there was really no time for me to say, oh, I'm bored and I don't know what to do with myself, because my best friend was the gym going to the gym playing cricket, squash, and every morning it was mass, say you know, cleaning up the church, mopping the floor and so on and so forth, and you know that discipline has done me really good. I grew up appreciating and respecting people's time and you know their effort and energy and presence in my life.

Beverley Glazer: 2:53

Yes, and you traveled all over. Yes, you were in China, did your parents? Were they? Why did they travel so much? Parents were they like? Why did they travel so much? What was?

Sophia Diaz: 3:03

going on. My father was a civil servant that you know. That took him to places around the world and for me, not just, you know, living in China, but I've also traveled extensively at a young age across Africa and what traveling and meeting people and experiencing people's culture and beliefs and cuisine and so on and so forth is one of the most fantastic experiences that you cannot buy in a classroom. Oh yes, oh yes. From a very early age I was very appreciative and grateful for having that background.

Beverley Glazer: 3:45

When did you realize, though, that you had a passion for fashion? I didn't realize that rhymes, but you had a passion for fashion.

Sophia Diaz: 3:53

Well, it came from a very young age. My mother was a seamstress. She was a housewife and you know we lived in a modest, small home so she had her sewing machine in the kitchen. So when my brother and I were asleep, she would be sewing and making clothes for the neighbours and the neighbours down the road. So I essentially picked up the art of sewing from her. And also throughout my travels you know, volunteering across Mozambique, south Africa, tanzania, almost throughout Asia Thailand, indonesia, malaysia I picked up the sense of fabric and the quality of fabric. And in 2012, I went down to Milan, in Italy, and launched a small company called Diaz Designs.

Beverley Glazer: 4:50

And you and your husband also had a very large company. It grew, it was large. Right, you were working with your husband. Is that correct?

Sophia Diaz: 5:02

A former husband, a former spouse. Yes, I supported him. I supported his work and worked extensively for over 15 years in factories, you know, on holidays, Christmas Day, my birthday worked hard to the core of my heart. And all of that got dissolved when my then spouse asked me if he could take a second wife in China and he would keep me as his first wife in the USA. And that wasn't a good situation for anybody. I would not wish that upon anybody. That was a tumultuously painful, brutally painful situation at that time which I endured for several years, and that's what led me to go and file a petition to my attorneys for divorce, to go, and you know, file a petition to my attorneys for divorce, and that came at such a cost because you were working with him.

Beverley Glazer: 6:12

That was a big company, there was a team. You discovered you had some gut feeling that things were going wrong, I mean, and yet you still had to continue working because this is what you did, this was. You know, your job, your career, your life. You know when did you get that gut feeling that something was off?

Sophia Diaz: 6:36

Well, it was very evident. Everybody in the company I mean we're talking about offices all across Asia company I mean we're talking about offices all across Asia, in Taiwan, hong Kong, kunshan, minneapolis, dallas, texas, houston, chicago, in over 12 or 15 states in America and everybody knew what was happening and people talked. And what was really even more heartbreaking was the employee of the company who my then spouse was married to, got married whilst he was married to me. She had a specific agenda. We found out that not only was this individual, who was 22 years old then, but it was her mother and her sister who were involved in a scam where they would make themselves available only to married men, men who have a structured family life, her wife, children and they would either drug them or entice them to go into hotel rooms and have cameras set up before the intimate encounter and then blackmail the men and threaten their wives that they would, you know, sell these so-called sex tapes to potential competitors Right.

Beverley Glazer: 8:12

And your colleagues knew about this. All of them, yes, yes. And so you wanted to get out of this marriage. It was like enough is enough, desperately. It was like enough is enough, desperately, tied to the man, the company, etc. And divorce is a difficult thing in the best of times, but in this case there was a lot of resentment. Tell us about that 9-1-1 call that you had to make. Why did you do that?

Sophia Diaz: 8:42

oh, the 9-. The 911 call was essentially what really saved my life. I was in my home in Bucktown in Chicago, illinois, and the spouse then had developed a lifestyle which. I do not know what drugs do to your system, because I've not taken any drugs, but there was a lot of cocaine use, copious amounts of alcohol and I, to the naked eye, there was a lot of other use like crack, cocaine and various other medications and essentially, you know, when I did press for divorce, he pulled a loaded gun in the kitchen and aimed it not just to my head but threatened to kill my dog, a large Bernese mountain dog. A tiny amount of seconds where I could push Mr Santos to the garage, lock myself in on the other side and call for help. 911, which arrived. They didn't even wait. They had been to our home many times before and they pushed down the door and saved my life.

Beverley Glazer: 10:10

They didn't even wait. They had been to our home many a times before and they pushed down the door and saved my life, my goodness and was your ex there?

Sophia Diaz: 10:17

Did he disappear? He was there. He was very much not in control of himself really. I believe that is why the gun did not go off. He was heavily under the influence of drugs and when he was taken away and arrested and found by jury in the criminal court in Chicago for aggravated domestic battery and assault one of the sergeants on duty that night Beverly he's actually in my book and in the movie he had a conversation with me as a human being to a human being and not as a police officer and he said you know, miss Diaz, we've come to your home so many times whilst you are in distress. Maybe the next time we might be a little bit delayed and you might not be able to survive. So what are you going to do with your life? Do you want to live or do you want to take a chance and maybe one day you won't live?

Beverley Glazer: 11:21

He controlled everything. He controlled your credit cards, you were part of the business, everything. So basically, you were left with nothing. If you have any resources, like how, how were you able to survive?

Sophia Diaz: 11:38

well, uh, the cruelty and the financial abuse was so, so horrible that I was not allowed to purchase groceries for myself because I did not have the funds. My funds and marital funds were completely blocked from me. So what the former spouse would do? He would purchase groceries for me and he would put these groceries outside my home. It was a really beautiful neighborhood and sometimes I was unaware there was a company called Peapod that would drop off the groceries and if, on days when I did not exit from the front door, those groceries would be sitting and rotting outside my home for days, would be sitting and rotting outside my home for days. And you know, this is the chief creative officer of a large printing packaging and a brand development company, a multi-billion dollar company. And this is how this individual was treating his spouse with complete and utter disrespect.

Beverley Glazer: 12:49

And you went to the law, you had to file a divorce, and did they take a look at all this and were they on your side and you know what happened there.

Sophia Diaz: 13:02

What happened was I did have some fantastic attorneys, some of the finest in the business in Chicago Illinois, and I write extensively about Room 3010. I even wrote a song about that room. It's in my first album, bulletproof, by Sophia Diaz. We were before a female judge in room 3010, who had made up her mind that I had absolutely zero rights as a human being, as a petitioner. I was the petitioner. She was aware that. You know.

Sophia Diaz: 13:44

The individual was found guilty in the criminal court of Chicago Illinois for aggravated assault, battery, beatings, the whole, everything. All the transcripts are supposed to have an evidentiary hearing. She granted his petition on the first minute for selling the only home that I had was the marital home. Not only that, but the judge saw it as a money-making, as a profit-making business deal, an active case on her docket. She appointed her close and her personal friend, who's a realtor, to sell my home and the realtor was another.

Sophia Diaz: 14:37

It was like a group of some diabolically evil people that worked together evil people that were that worked together, and the realtor decided that she wanted to renovate the house. And you know how people in america if you're renovating the basement, you and the pets live on the first floor, or if you're renovating the second floor, you go and live in the basement. But this realtor was so um, she just thought that you know, because her best friend was the judge. She wrote a letter and all of these emails are in the book four pets should be asked to leave the home so that she can have full control of the house and renovate the home. She eventually sold the house. I believe her fee was, her commission fee was $75,000. And all my attorneys, you know, made fun of it and they said, oh, don't worry. Attorneys you know made fun of it and they said oh, don't worry, sophia, you too are paying for the judges' re-election campaign in your own way.

Beverley Glazer: 15:50

Oh, my, oh, my. So you were battered and beaten in the court system. You were battered and beaten by your colleagues, not only your ex. How did you keep having this strength, sophia?

Sophia Diaz: 16:07

I really didn't have much choice. I relied heavily on my faith. I was responsible for four other lives. I had adopted Salvatore Sola and I had Santorini, my cat, who's here now. The two other cats passed away. They were with me for a long time 18 years and 15 years and I just had to find the strength from within.

Sophia Diaz: 16:35

And you know, there is a saying where if you exercise consistently and, you know, really take good care of yourself, the brain has an automatic mechanism of forgetting traumatic events.

Sophia Diaz: 16:52

So that is what I really focused on myself keeping myself together, eating really healthy and I'm a trained chef, so I would cook some fabulous food for myself soups, go to the gym, you know. And I'm on the women's board, Catholic Charities, I'm a board member, so I continued my you know, volunteer work. I would cook some fabulous food, food which was donated by other people in my home and go down to Kent City, on Roosevelt and Canal Street in Chicago, sit with the homeless people, eat with them. And you know, just, life just went on and I was very fortunate to be surrounded with people who wanted me to succeed. I also had the opportunity when I wrote my first album at the same time, when all of this was happening. I worked with Grammy award-winning music engineers like Shane Brown, clive Hunt, who's one of the biggest music producers and well-respected in the industry. I got to work with one of the finest iconic studios in the world Tuff Gong International Recording Studio, downtown Kingston.

Beverley Glazer: 18:12

Jamaica. So what I'm hearing is throughout this hell and it certainly was you were focused on self-care. You were focused on moving forward 100%. You focused on things that were positive. You did not focus on these horrible people and how they were tearing you apart financially and emotionally. You just moved forward, just moved forward. And now you're also a philanthropist and an advocate for women and children and the elderly, and that you keep giving back. What would you say to women who are listening, who are stuck and they're fearful and they can't get out because they feel that they have too much to lose? What would you tell them, Sylvia?

Sophia Diaz: 19:04

Oh, breathing, Breathing, and breathing fresh air is so much better than being oppressed and not knowing if you're going to survive or close. Go to bed with both eyes shut. You know it's a decision that one has to make. I was volunteering at the Amah House in the south of India, in Trivandrum, last year and I got to work, volunteer and serve the elderly and the sick who are over the age of 95, almost 98.

Sophia Diaz: 19:44

And these are people who are abandoned by their own children because they don't want to take care of them, so they essentially pack up the trash and leave the parents on the side of the street. That was an eye-opener. You know, of how cruelty can work in different dynamics. Prior to that, I was also volunteering at the Travancore National School, Travandrum. I got to work with severely down syndrome and autistic children there were about 200 in the school and that also showed me another element of life just how precious life is. So to anybody who's listening I would say no matter how hard you've been battered and tormented and tortured by people closest to you, it is just not worth being in that environment because the other side is dead.

Beverley Glazer: 20:42

Thank you, thank you. Sophia Diaz is a philanthropist, an international entrepreneur, an artist and an author who has been in a secretly abusive marriage and lost everything. Today she uses her voice, her resources and her influence to help women, children and the elderly to rebuild their lives with active initiatives around the world. Here are some takeaways from this episode. You can lose everything, but if you're alive, you can always rebuild. Trust your intuition when something feels wrong. Don't ignore those red flags and do get help. Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

Beverley Glazer: 21:34

If you've been relating to this episode, here are a few actions that you could do right now. If you feel that something's wrong, don't ignore it. Gather documents, tell a trusted friend and seek advice for planning your first move and go slowly. When you have the right strategies, there's no need to stay stuck. Slowly when you have the right strategies, there's no need to stay stuck. For similar episodes on empowering yourself to reinvent your life, please check out number 124 and 133 of Aging with Purpose and Passion. And if you love podcasts for older women, the Late Bloomer Living podcast will inspire you to find joy, embrace change and live playfully at any age. Every Wednesday, yvonne Marches interviews inspiring guests who dare to reinvent themselves and experts who provide valuable guidance on navigating the unique challenges in midlife and beyond. So, sophia, where can people learn more about you online?

Sophia Diaz: 22:40

Actually my website is under construction so that should be going up in the next few months and I'm very easy to find. My books are on Amazon just under Sophia D Gas.

Beverley Glazer: 22:53

Terrific, and, as Sophia said, her site isn't up yet, but it is going to be in the show notes, so just check the show notes, and all Sophia's links will also be on reinventimpossible. c om. That's my site too, and so, my friends, what's next for you? Are you just going through the motions or are you living a life that you truly love? Get my free guide to go from stuck to unstoppable, and that also will be in the show notes, too. You can connect with me, Beverly Glazer, on all social media platforms and in my positive group on Facebook, and that's Women Over 50 Rock, and thank you for listening. Have you enjoyed this conversation? Please subscribe and help us spread the word by dropping a review and sending it to a friend, and remember you only have one life, so live it with purpose and passion.

Speaker 1: 24:01

Thank you for joining us. You can connect with Bev on her website, reinventimpossible. com and, while you're there, join our newsletter Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Until next time, keep aging with purpose and passion and celebrate life.