Announcer: 0:05

Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the podcast designed to inspire your greatness and thrive through life. Get ready to conquer your fears. Here's your host, psychotherapist, coach, and empowerment expert, Beverly Glazer G

Beverley Glazer: 0:22

What do you do when your business you built disappears overnight? Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion. I'm Beverley Glazer, a reinvention strategist and leadership coach for women over 50 to turn a lifetime of wisdom into their most impactful chapter yet. And you can find me on reinventedpossible.com. Eve Foster is an entrepreneur, author, and the owner of Keller Williams Scotland. After losing her fitness businesses during the global pandemic, Ev pivoted from her own personal crisis to achieving purpose-driven success. She is the author of Change Starts with Choice and a student of intuitive psychology dedicated to helping women regain clarity, collaborating with them to achieve their goals. If you've ever felt that you hit rock bottom, this story will empower you to rise to the top. So keep listening. Hi, Ev. Welcome.

Ev Foster: 1:30

Hi there. Hi. Great to be here.

Ev Foster: 1:34

Yes it's great to have you. You grew up in Scotland. What was it like back in the day when you grew up? Um life was fairly simple, actually. Um, I grew up mum, dad, uh, myself, my younger sister, my gran lived with us. Life was revolved around the going to the church um twice on a Sunday. And um yeah, kind of mum stayed at home, dad worked in the railway, so fairly simple, um, comfortable, but you know, happy, happy childhood.

Beverley Glazer: 2:13

Nice, nice. Were you always an entrepreneur? Did you always want to go into business?

Ev Foster: 2:19

Um it's a great question because nobody in my world was in business um because it was that kind of just you know, simple life, as I say. But you know, my my my mum um was very good at saying to me, you know, I don't know why you just don't be normal. I don't know why you you you don't just you're not like everybody else, and you know, all these kind of things that you know you think at the time, well, I think I'm quite normal. Um I was always very competitive child when it came to sports, and I was always very um talkative and liked connecting with people. So I was quite different from my dad, it was very uh friendly with people, my mum was very introverted, so she just could not understand where she got me from, and quite often said that, you know, I don't know where I got you from. So I think there was there was always a difference in my mind um from a very young age, yeah.

Beverley Glazer: 3:20

And and so you decided to own a business. Um, was your first business a gym?

Ev Foster: 3:28

No, my first business was a financial services company in my 20s. So I had sort of um you know honed my trade in the corporate world and then decided at that time I would go out on my own, and um it was a financial services and life insurance, etc. So I did that in my mid-20s and um had that for five years. Um, in fact, I mean but longer. So that was my first business, and then I um sold that when I got married and uh had my second child. So um, so that was my first kind of venture as in my own business, and then the gyms came when I then had my fourth child and he was going to school because I stayed at home, I was straight-at-home um mum at that point, um, sort of helping, you know, with my husband's business and various other things. And uh I opened up the gyms when my youngest went to school at the age of five. So that was me going back into um employment, but not employment as in my own business. Yeah.

Beverley Glazer: 4:38

No, no. And those businesses thrived. What was that like?

Ev Foster: 4:44

So the the the gym business was a was, you know, when you look back at things slightly differently than than when you're right in the middle of it, don't you? It was a successful business for the people that were members of the gym. And what I mean by that was it was a ladies-only gym. So we had a real great community, we had superb classes, we we were changing lives, we were, we were, you know, getting women to get their confidence back, you know, it wasn't just about losing weight, it was about you know their identity, their confidence, everything like that. So it was successful on that level. But during the time when the gym was about three years old, um my marriage ended. So the gym, whilst it didn't have to support me financially when I was married, it sure did once I I that marriage ended. So it went from you know, being a business that I really enjoyed was passion business, to this needs to support myself and the four kids. And unfortunately, financially, it just didn't. So I had to walk away from from that. I actually passed the gym over to another uh to my manager at the time, um but I had to walk away from it and walked away from it in quite a lot of debt because I'd kind of put money into it to keep it going because it was successful in the sense of helping, you know.

Beverley Glazer: 6:12

Yeah, yes, you were caught in between. You wanted to continue to run it and and yet you couldn't. And then COVID came in and everything stopped.

Ev Foster: 6:24

Yes, COVID was a little bit later. Um but by that point I had then started another business. Um yeah, I'd gone back into uh real estate, which was what I'd been in in my early 20s. Um and so I'd started a business uh in in real estate and then COVID came in, and that uh but I managed to see stay through that. We we we we came through that, and then obviously Keller Williams opportunity came along just as lockdown happened, but we have sustained and we're still here, we're still here six years later, yeah.

Beverley Glazer: 7:01

And so you decided to buy into Keller Williams Scotland, and tell us about that franchise. Real estate, as you know, as I know, as anyone listening knows, it's a difficult business and there's lots of competition. What is different about Kellard?

Ev Foster: 7:21

So Keller is the largest brokerage in in the world, actually. It's very prominent in the US, Canada, and now in 66 countries worldwide. So I think the the way I explain Keller, it is the platform, it's the training technology company to help people get into real estate. And I had done real estate to the point where I thought it'd be quite good to train people to help people run their own businesses. So Keller was a good fit for me culturally, and also what it offered people for opportunities. Um and you know, Keller itself being a training company, it then felt a good fit for me to then grow further myself whilst growing other people. And yeah, it was it was an opportunity that that kind of was presented to me, and I decided to to take it. And yeah, it's uh self-employed estate agency, you know, real estate in Scotland and the UK is still relatively new. So I quite like being a innovator or a kind of market leader. I quite like kind of doing something that that um has maybe not quite been done to a great great level. So that that's that that gives me a bit of a buzz to be able to do that.

Beverley Glazer: 8:40

Yeah. Yes, and and you're a pioneer then, you know, you're carving new ground, but also you still have four kids to support. And that's a bit of a risk. Did you think of it as a risk, or it was just a challenge for you, and you just felt I'm gonna do this?

Ev Foster: 8:58

The challenge, to be honest with you, was when when I lost the gyms or when I walked away from the gyms, was actually finding a job that I could do whilst having the four kids. Because I was on my own, and to try so I tried to get back into a state agency at that point, but they wanted me in the office at half past eight till half past five. You know, who was then going to pick up the kids at school, who was going to do this the the football runs and this run and or soccer run, whatever you want to call it, all these things. So it was almost like it was that opportunity of okay, I can do real estate because I know I can do it, I'm I'm good at it. I you know, I had clients that would come back to me, but I can I have to do it on a self-employed basis because nobody is gonna is gonna give me the hours that I need, earn the money that I need, and and because you know, childcare was was not an option because it's so expensive, and the kids were not at that point of an age where they you know they could be left, you know, uh at home. Um, so it was one of those, it kind of whilst it was challenging, it was an opportunity to to to uh that suited family and also developing a business.

Beverley Glazer: 10:18

Do you think that it's it's particularly difficult for a woman in Scotland to be an entrepreneur and a business person, or is it the same?

Ev Foster: 10:30

I think it's difficult. I think there's a lot of difficulty with it. I think we have uh a kind of culture in Scotland where you know a lot of people work for councils, a lot of people are employed. There's very, very small percentage, UK, never mind Scotland, who are actually entrepreneurs and business people. I obviously, my circle of people is a lot of business people and entrepreneurs, but the the the kind of mindset and mentality is you know, you leave school, you get a job, and that's you, you know, you just work. Um, so again, same as my mother saying, you know, you're different, you know, what makes you what makes you think you can do that? You know, well, why who says I can't, you know, and who says we shouldn't? So I don't think it's even so much just for women. I think I think there's a lot less entrepreneurs in the male uh side of Scotland, but certainly much less. That's changing, however. I do think that that's beginning to change. I think the the I think COVID actually has made it possible for people to they work from home. So they've then got businesses that they can do from home, you know, their online businesses, AI businesses, social media businesses. So there's a lot more, you know, businesses coming out in that, these kind of sectors that women are are getting a part of and and doing, you know, doing very well and being successful. Um, but I do there's definitely a we don't celebrate success very well in this country. You know, if somebody's successful, we tend to go, well, you know, she's why, why, who does she think she is, and you know, she needs kind of, you know, let's just knock her down a little bit, you know. We're not very good at that. Um, and we're yeah, it is something that I would love to change. And spending time in the States, I see that, you know, that with Keller Williams, and and you know, I go across there, I'm going across there next week, actually, really looking forward to it. Um, there seems to be a different mindset, you know. We celebrate people success and talk about money. We don't talk about money. We we're we're, you know, we are kind of like, oh no, that's a dirty subject. We don't talk about that, we don't talk about success, and that's a shame because there are people that you know should be celebrated.

Beverley Glazer: 12:50

And particularly in real estate where it is, it can be dog, it's dog, and what happens also is you're now uh a team and you're helping people to help themselves as well, and you're doing that through a book. Tell us about that book. Change starts with choice.

Ev Foster: 13:10

So I think people had um people that knew me, uh, you know, had had uh sort of said, oh Kev, you should write a book, you know, that kind of throwaway because I would tell them a story of something that I'd been through or a challenge, and I would use a lot of these uh challenges to to to illustrate to people, look, you know, you think that you're this this is it, you know, and this is going to last forever and you have no choice, and you know, this is awful. And yes, it might be right now, but you can get out of this, this, and and here's what I did. Or so I kept telling these things to people, oh my goodness, I didn't know that about you. And so um somebody had said to me, Um, you know, do do the book, you know, just just because you can help people because when people think that they have no choice, or that, you know, they're a mum, they have kids, or they're too old, or they're too young, or they've no experience, or all these things that we use as excuses, um show them that you can that you can do it. So the book came out of really my desire to to show people I am no, I'm not extraordinary, I'm not super woman. I just made choices when I had to make choices and choices when I had to make when I had challenges. So, and it follows the the the life of a butterfly, it follows the life of a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly. And I think as women, particularly, we can go through that transformation quite often in our lives. But sometimes we have to have that chrysalis around us, we have to deconstruct, and that's okay, and then we can emerge you know stronger and and uh and fly. That's that's kind of so that's my message with the book is is really we everything in life is a choice, but we can't control it, we can't control what happens, but we can control what we do in a given situation and how we react.

Beverley Glazer: 15:10

Yes, and it must have been a struggle. Here you were alone, you had the kids, you had to survive, you had to find a way. And what I'm hearing also, Ev, is that's a choice, too. I'm going to pick myself up and I'm gonna make it work. And a lot of women become extremely defeated. I can never, and you go back into that cycle of negative thinking and what am I gonna do and become a victim. And it's a choice not to be a victim. And when you find a way without that victim mentality, you will find a way out. There will be a door, there will be somebody helping you, or some idea that you're gonna get. So, what I'm seeing is you always had that, and and now you're a mentor.

Ev Foster: 16:03

Yeah, I think the the kind of, you know, I think with if you've come out of a relationship, for example, that has been, you know, deemed, you know, it's a failure. We we talk about failed marriages, okay? That's a very broad term, but you know, you then have a you perhaps have a belief that you are a failure. Now you're not, you you just had a failed marriage, or you, you know, something about that relationship failed. You're not a failure. But if you and then if other people are telling you, oh, you know, that's a shame your marriage failed, you're a failure, but you know, you're you're getting that belief in your head, and then that becomes your story, that becomes what you're actually telling yourself. Um, and I I I th and I'm you know, I I I say, and and a lot of women do that, whether it's a you know, a relationship breakdown or you know, uh a loss of of a job or anything like that. You know, we are we we might have not succeeded in everything we've done, but we are not a failure. Not everything works, not everything is a success in that sense. So, you know, I think becoming a victim and I think being a victim, um it yeah, you that you you you do have a choice, but that's where I think that the whole kind of chrysalis thing comes in for me, because sometimes we do have to just take that time to protect ourselves, we have to just really kind of deconstruct, and whether that's learning things or whether it's just taking time to rediscover who we are, what our identity is, and then emerge as a different person, um fundamentally the same, but in a different in a different way. So I I do believe that you know, I do believe everything that we do, we do have a choice of some sort um that we can make. Yeah.

Beverley Glazer: 18:02

Yes. So what do you think is the number one mistake that women have when they're in business?

Ev Foster: 18:11

Um I think they put a lot of pressure on themselves because you you you if you've got a successful business, you also want to be a successful wife, a successful mother, a successful individual. You want to be, you know, bake the best cakes for the coffee morning that you know your your your daughter has told you about the night before. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves when actually sometimes we've just got to go, do you know what? I actually can't do that for that time. I, you know, I and and the the mistake fundamentally is we don't take enough time for ourselves to give ourselves that little beat and just go, do you know what? What do I need right now? Um, and I always liken it to we go, we go, we go, we're juggling, we're we're you know, we're we're we're we're doing this, we're doing that, and perfection doesn't exist. You can't have you know that. And outwardly, people, you know, you you compare yourself to people and you think, how do they do it? How they've got up, how do they do it? And you know, underneath there's an awful lot of swans out there who are very graceful, but underneath the surface they are paddling like Billy O, you know. Um, so I think also having you know, this work-life balance that doesn't exist, you know, counterbalance that's okay. Sometimes you have to, you know, I can remember sitting my children down and saying, look, I'm really going to be focusing on the business right now and the job. I need to start this and gaining their support because I knew that I was going to be working long hours and I needed to get that business off the ground. And, you know, they they understand, um, thankfully, they've they've kind of grown up round, you know, their dad's a businessman, um, I was a business, you know, I am a businesswoman. So they they understand that that that can happen. But I think the fundamental mistake women make, particularly business women, is just put too much pressure on themselves. And where where does that pre where where do you then take that pressure? Where do you let that go? Where do you um where you know, where do you where do you take, where's your safe space? Where do you have that before you actually do remember the old-fashioned pressure cookers? I can remember my mum having one and you could hear it whistling, and you know, I was like, that thing's gonna blow, do you know? And that's sometimes is I think how how how how we are as women. Um, you know, and and and yeah, it's it's it's a difficult, difficult, um, and then it's difficult to get yourself out of that because you know, and and that's um, I guess that's where you know the the me transitioning to the kind of intuitive psychology coaching, I see that so much with with women, and and I, you know, I become a safe space for them, you know, to take to take that kind of you know, to to what they're feeling inside and really bring it out. And um again, it's a phase in in my life that I'm glad that I can be there to be that safe space.

Beverley Glazer: 21:32

Yes, you could be that mentor, yes. What's the most important part of your journey that you want the listeners to know? Because it's been challenging, and you've come up and you've surfaced on top of your game in real estate with Kellart in Scotland. So, what is the most important message you want to leave, Ev?

Ev Foster: 21:55

To make sure that when you to again a lot of mindset. You know, and and and to look at when when when people say um well what's the worst that can happen? Change that language to what's the best that can happen? And if your energy can focus so much on negativity, your energy can focus a lot on positivity. So look at what you've got to gain, not what you've got to lose. And that's kind of that's the way I look at it.

Beverley Glazer: 22:25

Yeah. Perfect, perfect. Ev Foster is an entrepreneur, an author, and owner of Keller Williams, Scotland. After losing her fitness business during the pandemic, Ev pivoted from her personal crisis to purpose-driven success. She is the author of Change Starts with Choice and a student of intuitive psychology dedicated to helping women regain clarity and collaborating with them to reach their goals. Here are a few takeaways from this episode. A crisis is a door. Use it as an invitation to go in a new direction. Replace negative thoughts with intentional ones and make small daily changes. Change is slow and it takes time. If you've been relating to this story, here are some things to do right now. Find something that lights you up and do it daily. Align yourself with your purpose today, don't go back into your past. And if you need it, ask for help. There are experts out there that will help you. For similar episodes on rebuilding your life from scratch, check out episodes 160 and 165 of Aging with Purpose and Passion. And if you're over 50 and love to travel, the Ageless Traveler is your number one resource for lifelong travel. Discover exciting places, luxury travel for less, grandparenting and solo travel and culture and culinary experiences, and meet people who make your travel easy. That's the ageless traveler.com. And so, Ev, where can people find you? Please share your links so they can find you on the web.

Ev Foster: 24:15

So I have a website which is just www.change starts with choice, and I'm on socials, but that website will take you to pretty much all my links. Um I have a school community as well. But yeah, so I'm pretty easy to find.

Beverley Glazer: 24:34

Terrific. And those links are also going to be in the show notes, and they're on my site too. That's reinventimpossible.com. And so, my friends, what's next for you? Are you tired of spinning your wheels at three in the morning? Get the stuck to unstoppable roadmap and receive my free weekly insights in your inbox every weekend. And that resource is also in the show notes. I'd love to hear your comments and suggestions. So please connect with me, Beverley Glazer, on all social media platforms and in my positive group of women on Facebook. That's Women Over50 Rock. And thank you for listening. Have you enjoyed this conversation? Please subscribe and help us spread the word by dropping a review and sending it off to a friend. And remember, you only have one life, so live it with purpose and passion.

Announcer: 25:30

Thank you for joining us. You can connect with Bev on her website reinventimpossible.com. And while you're there, join our newsletter. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Until next time, keep aging with purpose and passion. And celebrate life.